So far this morning I have pounded out another 3,000 words to what may be an entirely useless chapter in my novel. I started out by writing a formal bio for Shay’s boyfriend Jake so I could post it here for you guys, but then I sidetracked myself by being inspired to write in the actual novel. It can be quite draining because I mix in my own personal experience with Shay and then I start to think, Am I going to offend someone by writing this? What if they know that I’m referring to them in my novel? Then I have to steer myself in the direction of simply not caring at this point. I’ll worry about all that when it’s finished. I’ll revise as necessary. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing, well, maybe plunging my toilet but this is truly what I want, no matter how daunting it may be at times. It’s stuff like this that makes me think I’d be more fit to work at Starbucks or something. But then I come back into reality and realize I don’t like people all that much and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I was born with no filter and it seems that science has not quite gotten around to learning how to install them. You would think they’d get on that shit seeing as how it’s such a common defect with people. So for the time being I know this is what I am meant to do.
On another note, I have been vigilant about writing and envisioning what my success will look like and for the most part it’s been great. But there are some days when, and I know this sounds silly, it’s just too much effort to pull myself from the dreggs of the quicksand that is my mind. Sometimes I just want to sit in my shit. I allow this for about fifteen minutes and then I force myself to write about my dream life. It eventually turns out well and I feel better and more inspired. I may break and go paint my furniture, which is also turning out better than I thought. Here’s a picture of the top of the chest, the lid, I have started working on. It’s no where near finished, but it’s also a work in progress.
Or I do this. (Blog) This is my break from the fierce suction of emotion that Shay can take from me on occasion. This chapter in particular is her reminiscing about her childhood days. Phew! Can we get some happy going here? I’m trying to figure out how to make it a little lighter a bit more humorous.